She says : “We not going to have sex tonight”
If you have been active with girls, I am sure you have heard this sentence many times coming from woman’s mouth. On this sentence, in this moment many guys have failed because they agreed and accepted the frame that she just created out from her insecurity.
Let’s put it in context.
You bring a girl home, everything is going smooth, you open a bottle of wine, play some music, you are enjoying the conversation with her, she loves it, you start kissing and then in one moment she says this killing sentence:
“Just for you to know, we not going to have sex tonight”
How do you react?
You get pissed off and lose yourself because you invested whole evening and lots of money and now she doesn’t want to do it. You feel she just rejected you. You get angry? You discuss her decision?
NO, no, no…Most guys on this point they agree and accept new frame she just created. They go “ok”, no problem, they try to play it cool even inside they are boiling from anger and frustration. Or they even start a discussion about it. You have been in this situation, you know what I am talking about.
Is this the last minute resistance?
Is she testing you?
What is she thinking?
What is this?
How to solve this, how to break her frame?
Woman are sometimes very hard to understand and this situation proves it. They speak their own language and they expect from us to understand it. This scenario is too brilliant and it proves why understanding female mindset is so important. If you want to be a good programmer or coder you have to be good at one or more programming languages. Same applies here if you want to be good with a woman, you have to understand their mindset and their language (the way they think and process things ). Even we look alike, our brains are wired very differently.
She is fighting with herself
If she said it first, it means she wants it, she is thinking about it. Oh yes! I understand woman very well. Let me explain the process in her mind that is happening in this moment.
She is enjoying the moment with you and in one moment her unconscious mind starts to think about having sex with you, images, sounds, desire comes to her mind. She wants it and gets insecure about it and start’s pushing herself away from it…
“We not going to have sex tonight”.
She is not saying it to You! she is trying to say it to herself. Her body is saying to her:
“We going to have sex tonight”.
She is trying with her logic to stop the process. No, we not going to have sex. But it’s too late to stop it. She is fighting with herself.
What is the best way to react?
Knowing now what she is actually saying and wanting it’s really easy to come up with some good responses. I usually just look her in eyes smile on her insecurity and say.. “of course, we not going to have sex, I never sleep with a woman in the first year of dating. Then just continue what you were doing before ( kissing her or whatever).
You have to do it in a way like talking to a small kid. “Of course daddy will come back home soon”, even you know daddy will not come back anytime soon.
You have to remember that you are dealing with her insecurity, her body and unconscious wants sex, but she did not process it yet on a logical level. Don’t take those words seriously, give her a comfort, and continue playing with fire.
DO NOT DO THIS
- Do Not start to discuss this sentence or talk about it, or give any importance to it. She said it but she is not meaning it really. Therefore just move on and ignore it. She will forget she said it in less than a minute.
- Do Not take it personally or as a rejection. Do not show any emotions in this moment, just a slight smile on your face. It’s just one moment of her insecurity and confusion that can go seriously wrong if you react wrong on it.Remember if she said this sentence, she is thinking about sex, she wants it, so just be smooth make those small uncomfortable moments as comfortable as possible. If you are interested about female mindset and you would like to learn more about these moments check out Understanding female mindset courses inside Life Academy. Where we interviewed girls and get them to openly talk about how they think, behave and what do they want from a man.