How to deal with your past?
No-one had an ideal childhood.
We all done things we are now ashamed of and every one of us have certain beliefs and opinions taught and told, which hold us back now.
This blog is about your past and how to deal with it.
The most important question for you is:
Are you happy right now with your life?
If you are happy with your life or believe you are going in the right direction, then you did everything perfectly fine until now.
This is the first key, mindset, that helps you to deal with your past.
If you can’t even partial say yes to this question I strongly advise you to seek help for gathering enough resources, so you can work effectively on your Inner Game.
We have this weird imagination that we need to live our life on a certain script.
It’s a thing that even if we have a good life, we worry about all the unusual parts of our past.
We forget that every decision we make and every action we did, took us to the place where we are right now.
The key to dealing with our past lays in forgiveness.
The memories of our past can be separated into two categories:
There are things you couldn’t take an impact
There are things in your past you had no influence off.
Like your parents, the school or other kids.
Every bad memory you deal with will either result in anger, fear or shame.
In the NLP we have important assumptions.
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One essential assumption to deal with your past is following:
No-one acts as a bad person.
Everyone is doing what they can and what they believe is right.
It doesn’t mean that you should agree with person or values, it means that you understand that the person did the things which seemed the best possible solution.
So how can you forgive your parents or people that treated you bad?
To let go all those things that happened to you, where you couldn’t take any impact, you have the only option and it is forgiveness.
The Hawaiian Shamans have a beautiful ritual called Ho’oponopono.
The core of this ritual is, to get in contact of all the pain and negativity in this memory.
I’m sorry – please forgive me
Accept the past and forgive.
And forgive the involved persons (keep in mind that no one acts as a bad person, everyone is still doing their best and do the things they believe are right).
Forgive yourself for the bad energy inside of you, forgive another person the pain which was caused, and forgive yourself all those negative feelings you have created against the other person.
I love you – thank you
Accept yourself and see the problem as an opportunity for a better understanding of yourself and the world around you.
Be thankful for the positive energy the forgiveness brings with it and with the lesson you could learn with it.
To let go and forgive sounds maybe a bit esoteric, but it’s one of the most powerful sources of energy and happiness.
There are things, where you did the mistake.
One of my favorite movies is “The big kahuna”, which I can strongly recommend everyone to watch.
It has a perfectly formulated perspective about regrets and character.
There are mistakes which you’ll always regret.
These are the biggest lessons in your life.
These are the events in your life that give you character.
Read also: You vs. You – the battle of your life
You found the love of your life and cut her away from your life because you are young and stupid.
You will maybe never forget what idiot you where, but you will never do something like this again. You get the character. This character is what we admire in people.
We all have principles and attitude and most of them are trained and taught.
Most of them are not fully part of our self. The thing a big loss does to us is giving us character.
There are not many things in this world with such a high price as a lesson.
Of course, you can do the exercise from above also to forgive yourself.
But I strongly believe that we automatically forgive ourselves, when we accept and understand that those mistakes are the best way to truly find yourself and being authentic and great being.
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Who is Ray The Shaman?
Ray dedicated his life to transformation and personal growth. In Man-Circles, the Pick Up Community and in his career as Project Manager he always focused on developing himself and to support the people around him to live the life the wanna have. As a Part of Badboys Team his approach to Inner Game is high performance mental training rather than therapy. Ray’s sessions are a potbury of NLP, sports psychology, specific how-to-advice, shamanism, initiation rituals and neurohacking, which leads to a strange but powerful processes. Ray attaches great importance to combine conscious and unconscious work in his coachings. His passions is to help men on their own journey and to clean up the mess psychologists and therapeuts did.