In this article, we will give you a permanent solution for dealing with your approach anxiety.
First thing you have to understand is that Approach Anxiety actually never goes away fully.
No matter how experienced you are, you will always from time ti time have that initial thought in the back of your mind which says “But what if… “ or “No, wait… “, or sometimes it’s “Are you sure that….”. The point is that it never goes away. As you have probably already guessed, this inner voice is trying to keep you inside your comfort zone. Brain and body likes staying inside comfort zone, while success in life is waiting you outside of your comfort zone. So its a time to get used to it.
Hang on a minute, there are some of us which have no approach anxiety, they have no problems in approaching someone the first second they see them! You’re right, but that ever-present voice in their head is still talking to them. How do they deal with it? Well, they choose to and have trained to master and rise above that voice in their head. They have become comfortable being outside of their comfort zone.
How do we get there? How do we get comfortable outside our comfort zone? Well, the answer to this is also pretty obvious. We need to spend time outside of our comfort zone to expand it. We can do that a number of ways, we can do a lot of approaches every single day, we can constantly go skydiving or paragliding, push your physical and mental limits every day by exercising or long-distance running, but sometimes these things cannot always be accommodated within our daily lives.
Enter, cold showers. No, not lukewarm showers, not the type when you walk in and think, “This isn’t too bad”. I’m talking about as cold as your shower goes.
Do daily cold showers
From the moment you step into the shower, it’s uncomfortable. As soon as that cold water runs down your neck and back, you breathing speeds up, your heart rate shoots up, you can’t think of anything else except to get out of there. You have to stay in, its your mind playing games with you. You know it’s not going to kill you, and you know it’s not going to harm you in any way, but you need to push yourself to do it, in your mind and in your body. Sound familiar?
But you have to overcome the discomfort and get comfortable outside those toasty warm showers we are all used to. You have a job to do. Do that soaping, washing, shampooing, rinsing and repeating, whatever the hell you need to do. Then 5 minutes or 10 minutes later, its done, and you’ve come out the other side as a champion, having gone through a tough challenge first thing in the morning or before you go out, and in the middle of winter, it’s as tough as you can imagine it to be.
I’m not going to write in detail about all the benefits of a cold shower, you can do your own research on that. But in a nutshell there are more benefits than you can imagine:
1. Reduces stress
2. Increases alertness
3. Good for your immunity and circulation
4. Good for your skin and hair
5. Increases emotional resilience
6. Increases testosterone production
7. Accelerates fat loss
8. Reduces chances of depression
9. Improves muscle recovery
10. Drastically increases will power
The list goes on and on, but that last one, that’s the most important. That’s the one you have complete control over. That’s the one that helps you be the best you can be, whether it is exercising, running a marathon, learning and working on something or approaching and staying infront of your perfect 10. It’s tough, but your will power and staying power will be tougher.
How do you get started? If you’re brave, turn that shower to all the way cold, step in, and go about’s your business. And you if can do this, then why are you reading this article?
A good way to start is starting off, is with your usual warm shower, then slowly bring it down to what feels cold to you. You know it’s cold enough when you start breathing shallow. Hang in there, slow down your breathing and breathe deeply. Relax into it, feel the water running down you and know that you’ve made a committed choice and you’re going to stick to it. Do your thing and as soon as you start “getting used” to it, make it a little colder.
When you step out, you will be cold and glad that was over, but within a minute, you’ll think to yourself: “That wasn’t so bad! That was cold, but I could have stayed in there for longer!” And you could have, it wasn’t going to kill you, and you kind of wish that you were still in there to push yourself more. Are you drawing any parallels with approaching yet?
Increase duration each day
Do this every day, slowly making it colder and colder. Test yourself out by turning the water all the way cold for the last 15 seconds, 30 seconds, 1 minute of your shower then see how long you can go.
Then one glorious cold, gloomy and rainy day, when the last thing you want is a cold shower, turn it on all the way cold, and step in. After all the cold showers you’ve had, you’re still not looking forward to this one. But you get in there, and you do your stuff. Noticed your breathing? It’s okay, seems normal. Your heart rate is also fine, and your head and hands don’t sting so much. It’s still uncomfortable, but your body is getting used to being outside your comfort zone.
Do this for 30 days. 30 solid days of only cold showers, day 31: reward yourself with a warm shower. Once this is part of your routine, make your own schedule and commit to it. Sunday’s are always a good cheat day.
So go out there and test yourself, push yourself, find your limits. What do you have to lose? Some comfort? And what will you gain? A whole lot more, and you’ll start to master your will power. Master this, and you’re on the path to mastering your mind, you will master that little voice in your head and you will master your life. After that shower that has pumped you up, how hard do you think it is to approach that girl at the bar? It’s not that hard.
As an added bonus, next time you’re at your favorite mountain lake or beach, I guarantee you will never complain about the water because it will be warmer than some of the showers you will have had.
Go and be the best you can be.